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From the category archives:
Women
A lady walks into Tiffany’s.
She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.
As she bends over to look more closely, she inadvertently breaks wind.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn’t pop up right now.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, ‘Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?’
Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little ‘accident’, she asks, ‘Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?’
He answers…… “Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you’re going to shit yourself when I tell you the price!”
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An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice.
She said, ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude’.
With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, ‘Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!’
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed… ‘YES! YES!
I WIN,
I WIN!’
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked,
‘What did she roll?’
The other answered, ’I don’t know – I thought you were watching.’
MORAL OF THE STORY -
Not all Irish are drunks,
not all blond’s are dumb,
but all men….are men.
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