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From the category archives:
Kids
An MP was seated next to a little girl on an airplane so he turned to her and said,
“Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the MP. “How about global warming, universal health care, or stimulus packages?” as he smiled smugly.
“OK,” she said.”Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first.
A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass.
Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”
The MP, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says,”Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the little girl replies,
“Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care, or the economy, when you don’t know shit?”
And then she went back to reading her book.
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A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa.
When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa’s room …
“Grandpa, Grandpa,” she says excitedly, “As soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!”
“What?” said her Grandpa.
“Make a noise like a frog – ’cause Grandma said that as soon as you croak, we’re all going to Disney Land !
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A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a firefighters helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.
‘That sure is a nice fire truck,’ the firefighter said with admiration… ‘Thanks,’ the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog’s collar and to the cat’s testicles..
‘Little partner,’ the firefighter said, ‘I don’t want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat’s collar, I think you could go faster.’
The little girl replied thoughtfully, ‘You’re probably right, but then I wouldn’t have a siren.’
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Well, we are glad that the ‘keeper’ of this little treasure went to the trouble of putting some nice soft blankies in… THE CAGE!
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