The perfect diet for all women who want to relieve stress in their lives:
BREAKFAST
- 1 Grapefruit
- 1 slice wholemeal toast
- 1 cup skimmed milk
(You should feel very virtuous, but quite stressed about the lack of food)
LUNCH
- 1 small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach
- 1 cup herbal tea
- 1 biscuit
(You should feel quite virtuous, with some residual post biscuit guilt, but less stressed)
AFTERNOON TEA
- The rest of the biscuits from the packet
- 1 tub of full fat ice cream with chocolate topping
(You will be feeling very guilty about the biscuits, but stress is waning)
DINNER
- 4 bottles of wine (red or white)
- 2 loaves garlic bread
- 1 family size Supreme pizza
- 3 chocolate bars
(Virtue has gone out the window, stress is all but gone)
LATE NIGHT SNACK
- 1 whole cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)
(Virtue has been stomped on, locked into a tiny box and put right at the back of the cupboard behind your hidden snacks, stress completely gone… until tomorrow).
REMEMBER!
‘stressed’ spelled backwards is ‘desserts’
Finally, here’s some advice for you:
Dr. Neil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started:
So I looked around my house to see things I’d started and hadn’t finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonay , a bole of Baileys, a butle of Kehuha, a pockage of biscuits, the mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke, some saltins an a bax a cholates..
Yu haf no idr who gud I fel!
